Should I?

Looking at the text messages, I tried to calm myself down.  I knew it was coming, I knew it was going to happen, I knew it and I was expecting it.  So, why am I feeling so angry?  Why am I taking it as if it was really a shocking thing to see?  No, it wasn’t a shocking thing, I even resolved that I would not care so much about it.  I would take it as it is and just be okay with it.  Turned out it was not that easy.

I felt my fist was going tighter, my heart was pounding fast, filled with all the frustration and anger and my mind was trying to make the right decision.  Would I follow my feeling? Or would I follow my conscience?  Should I do it? Should I complain?  Or I just leave it?  My breath was heavy, I was about to scold someone, I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream. While was boiling inside, mum was calling me.  What is it? I don’t feel like doing it.  She didn’t know what was going on in my head, so I would just do what she told me.  My feeling was not her fault anyways.

I’ve made a decision to never fight against the selfishness of others.  Surely he would not care about me.  It took everything inside me to let go.  I prayed to God to help me.  Finally, a decision came; I would just obey his instruction.  Why make others unhappy just because I am angry?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s