Looking at the text messages, I tried to calm myself down. I knew it was coming, I knew it was going to happen, I knew it and I was expecting it. So, why am I feeling so angry? Why am I taking it as if it was really a shocking thing to see? No, it wasn’t a shocking thing, I even resolved that I would not care so much about it. I would take it as it is and just be okay with it. Turned out it was not that easy.
I felt my fist was going tighter, my heart was pounding fast, filled with all the frustration and anger and my mind was trying to make the right decision. Would I follow my feeling? Or would I follow my conscience? Should I do it? Should I complain? Or I just leave it? My breath was heavy, I was about to scold someone, I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream. While was boiling inside, mum was calling me. What is it? I don’t feel like doing it. She didn’t know what was going on in my head, so I would just do what she told me. My feeling was not her fault anyways.
I’ve made a decision to never fight against the selfishness of others. Surely he would not care about me. It took everything inside me to let go. I prayed to God to help me. Finally, a decision came; I would just obey his instruction. Why make others unhappy just because I am angry?